Saturday, May 9, 2015

Miss Telall post 5/9/15

Hello loyal SBPL readers, it’s your favorite advice columnist- Miss Telall, with two more entries. If you’re having issues or just want to talk, she’s always up to offer advice, so be sure to email her at, and check the SPBL blog for a reply addressing your problem. All entries are always ANONYMOUS!

Dear Miss Tellall,
      I’ve never been the most fashionable girl, and yet lately I’ve been really into finding my own style. After watching so many YouTube videos and reading a lot of magazines, I really want to try out wearing new combinations of clothing- they make me feel so much more confident. My mom, though, doesn’t like it. I guess what I’m interested in now is too revealing or something, because she won’t let me wear a lot of what I want to wear to school! She complains about expense even though I’m using my own money from allowance. I mean, everyone else is wearing these things too- isn’t she so unfair??

                         Style Shutdown
Dear Style Shutdown,

        Every teen goes through a point in time where they change styles and looks, finding their own image. It’s a point of freedom and happiness to find your own elements of individuality, so congrats! Confidence is a beautiful thing. On the other hand, you are still a teen, and are thus under your parents’ supervision. If your mom feels like your style has gotten too revealing, she probably has legitimate reasons and explanations for it. Never let an argument drag out as just that- an argument. When you have a disagreement, preserve your relationship, and instead tell each other calmly why you deserve to wear these clothes, or why you need to be more reserved. Furthermore- if she’s concerned about school rules, you might want to review the school’s actual policies against your own taste, just in case! Never let yourself- or even your mother- become blindsided by your respective, biased views. The best policy is always to try and see a disagreement from both sides.
          On the topic of finances, remember that your allowance is a privilege, and comes from your parents! It may be your choice what to spend it on, but it is also your parents’ right to be concerned and offer advice. Explain to them how your newfound style makes you feel. Your parents might actually just be looking to help watch out for your finances.
           Finally, no exaggerations. Most likely, not everyone is wearing what you’re not allowed to wear. I know it’s hard to resist the pressure of “fitting in” in high school, but remember not to do something just because “everyone else” is doing it. Not only are they most likely not “all” participating, but the most important thing should be  your happiness, and the contentment of your loved ones. Don’t sacrifice family or friends for image! Good luck!
                             ~Miss Telall
Dear Miss Tellall,
     I have a lot on my plate right now. I’m dealing with multiple issues which are adding to my stress currently, including friend drama and family troubles. On top of that, I have my school work to deal with too. My grades are slipping, and it’s beginning to affect my perception of myself, as I’ve always been a good student. I need some help dealing with all of this stress.

Stressed Out
Dear Stressed Out,
      Being stressed out can happen to the best of us; however, learning how to cope with constant stressors is a highly valuable skill required for any individual. Some common techniques to reduce your stress and make you feel better include exercising (going on a power run). Exercise has been scientifically proven to spark dopamine production, rebuild toxic damage to the brain, battle anxiety and depression, and boost self-esteem. It’s a fantastic way to feel better about yourself and get healthy. Additionally, scientific research points that listening to music can help relieve stress in multiple ways, as it triggers specific biochemical stress reducers. Another way to reduce stress is to drink tea, especially black tea. Black tea leads to lower post-stress cortisol levels and powerful feelings of relaxation, resulting in a calmer mood. Most importantly, the technique of meditation, the practice of taking a break from our daily activities and quieting the mind’s thoughts, has been used for centuries to soothe the mind and body from existing stressors. There are numerous meditation techniques, from concentration meditation, which involves focusing on a single point, to mindfulness meditation, encouraging the meditator to observe the “patterns” of their thoughts and feelings. Here is a website to guide you on your endeavors regarding meditation:
         And that’s a wrap! Stress is something that hits the best of us, but it’s important to find out the most effective mechanisms which help you combat it. If things don’t start to seem better, remember to talk to someone and ask for help; parents, guidance counselors and doctors are all there to help us when we need them.

~ Miss Telall

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