5/9/15
Hello
loyal SBPL readers, it’s your favorite advice columnist- Miss Telall, with two
more entries. If you’re having issues or just want to talk, she’s always up to
offer advice, so be sure to email her at MissTelallSBPL@gmail.com, and check the SPBL blog for a reply addressing your
problem. All entries are always ANONYMOUS!
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Dear Miss Tellall,
I’ve
never been the most fashionable girl, and yet lately I’ve been really into
finding my own style. After watching so many YouTube videos and reading a lot
of magazines, I really want to try out wearing new combinations of clothing-
they make me feel so much more confident. My mom, though, doesn’t like it. I
guess what I’m interested in now is too revealing or something, because she
won’t let me wear a lot of what I want to wear to school! She complains about
expense even though I’m using my own money from allowance. I mean, everyone
else is wearing these things too- isn’t she so unfair??
Sincerely,
Style
Shutdown
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Dear Style Shutdown,
Every
teen goes through a point in time where they change styles and looks, finding
their own image. It’s a point of freedom and happiness to find your own
elements of individuality, so congrats! Confidence is a beautiful thing. On
the other hand, you are still a teen, and are thus under your parents’
supervision. If your mom feels like your style has gotten too revealing, she
probably has legitimate reasons and explanations for it. Never let an
argument drag out as just that- an argument. When you have a disagreement,
preserve your relationship, and instead tell each other calmly why you
deserve to wear these clothes, or why you need to be more reserved.
Furthermore- if she’s concerned about school rules, you might want to review
the school’s actual policies against your own taste, just in case! Never let
yourself- or even your mother- become blindsided by your respective, biased
views. The best policy is always to try and see a disagreement from both
sides.
On
the topic of finances, remember that your allowance is a privilege, and comes
from your parents! It may be your choice what to spend it on, but it is also
your parents’ right to be concerned and offer advice. Explain to them how
your newfound style makes you feel. Your parents might actually just be
looking to help watch out for your finances.
Finally,
no exaggerations. Most likely, not everyone is wearing what you’re not
allowed to wear. I know it’s hard to resist the pressure of “fitting in” in
high school, but remember not to do something just because “everyone else” is
doing it. Not only are they most likely not “all” participating, but the most
important thing should be your happiness, and the contentment of your
loved ones. Don’t sacrifice family or friends for image! Good luck!
~Miss
Telall
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Dear Miss Tellall,
I
have a lot on my plate right now. I’m dealing with multiple issues which are
adding to my stress currently, including friend drama and family troubles. On
top of that, I have my school work to deal with too. My grades are slipping,
and it’s beginning to affect my perception of myself, as I’ve always been a
good student. I need some help dealing with all of this stress.
Sincerely,
Stressed Out
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Dear Stressed Out,
Being
stressed out can happen to the best of us; however, learning how to cope with
constant stressors is a highly valuable skill required for any individual.
Some common techniques to reduce your stress and make you feel better include
exercising (going on a power run). Exercise has been scientifically proven to
spark dopamine production, rebuild toxic damage to the brain, battle anxiety
and depression, and boost self-esteem. It’s a fantastic way to feel better
about yourself and get healthy. Additionally, scientific research points that
listening to music can help relieve stress in multiple ways, as it triggers
specific biochemical stress reducers. Another way to reduce stress is to
drink tea, especially black tea. Black tea leads to lower post-stress cortisol
levels and powerful feelings of relaxation, resulting in a calmer mood. Most
importantly, the technique of meditation, the practice of taking a break from
our daily activities and quieting the mind’s thoughts, has been used for
centuries to soothe the mind and body from existing stressors. There are
numerous meditation techniques, from concentration meditation, which involves
focusing on a single point, to mindfulness meditation, encouraging the
meditator to observe the “patterns” of their thoughts and feelings. Here is a
website to guide you on your endeavors regarding meditation: http://tinyurl.com/mhpwa5v.
And
that’s a wrap! Stress is something that hits the best of us, but it’s
important to find out the most effective mechanisms which help you combat it.
If things don’t start to seem better, remember to talk to someone and ask for
help; parents, guidance counselors and doctors are all there to help us when
we need them.
~ Miss Telall
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