This entry is a story named Brink.
So Namjoon never really had the time to do what he loves. Alright, fine, it happens. He's also never got the time to just relax for a second, but sure even that can be delayed. He's also missed twenty two and a half alleged vacation days, not that he's been counting, of course.
It's been a week, and Namjoon's had enough. It's like the people in this agency don't know how to do their work. Oh wait. That's exactly what it was. All of a sudden, everything's gone wrong and it seems as though Namjoon's the only one in the universe that can fix it.
The backing's all wrong and the setlist aren't finished,the costumes need to be refitted and rehearsals rescheduled,the album's nowhere near ready and the Run BTS episodes far from recorded.
Not helping the situation was the fact that Namjoon's the one that has to tell the other members that not only is their schedule going to be absolutely changed and they're gonna have to re-memorise everything,but also that they're schedule is jam packed for the next week.
It usually goes well, the others understand that it isn't Namjoon's decision to make and that there's not much he can do, but it doesn't always go the way he plans. Sometimes, the other members get mad at him, and blame him as if it was he that made the final decisions.
Whenever this happened, Namjoon felt like he failed them, and failed the people that he swore to lead that day that he signed the contract to be BTS's leader and communicator. He wished that there was a way he could make things easier for them and it hurt him to another level when he
can't. Today was just one of many of those days, where he took on the burdens of staying back late at the agency and trying, and failing, to fix some of the issues that have come up so that the others don't have to worry about it when they come in early the next morning.
To them, it never happened. To Namjoon, well, that was another story. Another story that no one really cared about. Timeskip to the next morning, the morning that came way too soon for Namjoon, who came home at one am, staying back to fix things, and woke up at six to be ready
for that day's schedule. It was breakfast time, and all was well, and calm, for now, but Namjoon knew that it was a matter of time before that would change. Jimin and Tae were going on and on about god knows what, Yoongi was trying not to fall asleep in his coffee,
Jin was making the usual jokes,and Hobi was helping, trying to lift everyone's spirits. 'not that it will help when i tell them about the schedule change' Namjoon thought. Jungkook, he was just there, sitting quietly,praying for the day to be less painful than it was looking
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Unfortunately, it was just as painful as they had expected, and sitting in the practice room hours later, when the sun had set and the night had long fallen, winded from the last eight hours of practice, Namjoon knew that it was now or never.
"Guys," he said, catching everyone's attention, "I know today's been rough, and in our schedule the next few days were supposed to be light, but as of last night, our schedules have changed, and we're looking at a full week, even more of non-stop schedule." he finished, waiting.
"What!?!" Jimin and Tae's exclamations came, moments later as they processed the words in their head. This meant that not only were they gonna be getting up earlier and earlier each day, but that they're going to sleep late too, and that they're gonna have no time to rest at all.
"Why, hyung? Wasn't everything fine a few days ago?" Hobi asked, handing Yoongi a water bottle and grabbing some newspaper to wipe the fogged up mirrors. Namjoon sighed and told them everything. How the schedules were messed up and the setlist was wrong and how he was told yesterday about the next week's change. He didn't tell them about the nights he spent, alone in the studio, with nothing but the thoughts in his head, as he battled a bad migraine and fixed as much as he could so that the schedule was fixed to what it was now, instead of what it could have been.
He also didn't tell them about how sorry he was that he couldn't make things better for them, and that he wished every day that he didn't fail the team so badly.
"Well why didn't you try to fix it?" Jungkook asked, a scowl on his face. Namjoon knew that this was just the exhaustion talking, but it hurt somewhere that the maknae thought he didn't do enough for them.
“I tried but-”
"but it's still so bad? what did you do, if everything's JUST HORRIBLE?" Kookie said, getting up to lunge at the leader, but didn't get far when Yoongi held him back, struggling to keep a tight hold on the younger's arm.
"Jungkook, calm down, you're just stressed about-"
"NO, hyung, he didn't do anything, he doesn't even practice when we tell him too and he keeps us behind. If he just talked to management, then we don't have to-"
"Jeon Jungkook, shut it! You're not being logical! You know Joon does-"
"Does nothing other than keep us behind"
"JEON JUNGKOOK-"
"...n-no" Namjoon said, before he could stop himself. Tears were welling in his eyes, and it was only a matter of time before he started crying in earnest. Tae and Hobi were trying to comfort him, but he pushed away before they could get close.
Namjoon was angry. So, so inexplicably angry. Angry to the point of seeing red. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the massive headache he was sporting or the fact that he’s probably gonna spend the rest of the night working to fix everybody’s mistakes, yet again.
“no, you don’t know what i did you make this happen,” Namjoon said, feeling his blood boil, “you don’t know how many headaches i tackled, how many meetings i went to, how much i pleaded and b-begged the managers to give us a bit of mercy and it was only after i spent the
the entirety of last night fixing the schedule while you guys were asleep! I bet you guys didn’t even know that i didn’t come home till one in the fucking morning just because i was here!” Namjoon finished, screaming at the top of his lungs at the end, leaving everyone else in shock.
Namjoon was shaking, the anger making him about ready to burst. Jungkook, somewhere in the distance was trying to apologize, and Namjoon could hear something about crying, but didn’t bother, the anger coursing through his veins. He looked down,
and the water bottle that was once in his hand was crushed and on the floor. The boys screamed after Namjoon as they watched him run out of the practice room, the door banging against the wall hard. They’d never seen their leader this angry.
The room was dead silent once the leader had left, and the boys were so lost. When had all of this happened? And why was Namjoon the one fixing it?
————
As if things couldn’t have gotten worse, it did, when the members promptly realized that not only did their beloved leader leave angry, in a rush, and obviously crying, but he didn’t take his phone with him, and that they have no idea where he is.
Thirty minutes later, and the members were on the brink of panicking now, Namjoon wasn’t in the studio, wasn’t in any of the dance rooms, wasn’t in the dorm, or in the park that Yoongi said that they went back to in the trainee days when they need a break.
It was then that they decided to go to Sejin, their manager, and tell him of their leader’s absence. Sejin, although shocked, knew that this was meant to happen at some point, and told the others that the leader had been burning himself out for days,
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The boys ran up to the building, worried to the point of not caring about exactly what they were running into. The door was unlocked, and they knew Namjoon was inside. It was only after they entered that they realized what they'd run into.
The ice glittered in the bright lights, and the marks of perseverance and passion marked the ground where a figure going so fast, yet so gracefully passed. Kim Namjoon was skating circles around the circumference of the ice rink, every so often doing a spin as he passed.
A black blindfold covered the leader's eyes, but he skated effortlessly, even with the lack of sight. It was both mesmerizing and entertaining, and the other members watched in silence until Namjoon skidded to a halt in the middle of the rink, pulling off his black blindfold.
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Namjoon felt at ease as he skated around the rink,feeling the breeze in his hair as he went through a practiced routine, performing double and even triple axels, landing them close to perfectly each and every time
As he spun backwards, he heard a faint clicking in the distance, but didn't think much of it as he made yet another successful jump. Deeming this enough, he skidded to a halt, and pulled the blindfold off of his eyes, letting himself adjust to the glitter and shimmer of the ice, when he noticed multiple figures standing at the entrance to the rink, clapping and whistling. It hit him then that it was his boys that stood there, tears in their eyes as they applauded him. They must've seen the entire performance.
Manager Sejin stood father back then the others, and when he caught the manager's eye, the manager nodded, a knowing smile on his face. Namjoon pushed himself closer to the edge of the rink where the others stood, as Jungkook lunged forward, making it a few steps before his foot slipped and he landed on the ice, scraping his hand.
Hard.
Jungkook winced, and Namjoon went into action, before the others could even make it onto the ice, skating right towards Jungkook and crouching down to check on him. He knew, from experience, that even one little fall on the ice can hurt like a bitch, especially if you don't know how to catch yourself.
"Jungkook-ah, are you okay? Let hyung see your hand, please, are you hurt anywhere else?" he said, rubbing Jungkook's hand which caught the majority of Jungkook's fall.
He looked up at Jungkook, who wasn't even looking at his hand, but was looking directly at him, tears falling down his cheeks.
"H-hyung...." he whimpered, ducking his head. "Oh it hurts a lot, Jungkook-ah?" Joon asked, and looked over at Sejin who'd brought the first-aid kit. "'m s-sorry, hyung,I yelled at you and told you off even though it was never your fault."
"Yeah, we're all sorry" Jin said, and the others nodded in agreement voicing their apologies.
"No, no. I forgave all of you a long time ago, practically moments after it happened. I wasn't mad at you, Jungkook," he said, helping Jungkook and the others back off the ice, "or any of you, really."
"But how? We yelled at you, and we've-"
And it didn't matter to Namjoon because he knew that it was only frustration that caused them to say the things that they did, and that they didn't mean it like that. Namjoon was waiting for someone to pop the question, and laughed when Hobi did, and Jin nudged him in the stomach, hard. "Figure skating, Namjoon? I've never known that you knew how to?" Hoseok had asked. Ah. That. Namjoon went to take off his skates as he began to explain.
"When I was eight, my mom had enrolled me in a figure skating class back in Ilsan, and I'd taken to the sport well, and was pretty okay at it for my age" Namjoon said as the others nodded. "I loved it, as a hobby, and that was what introduced me to music. Being able to compose
A routine to music was what made me interested in creating music, and led me to thinking about composing. From there, I kept delving into the world of music and before I knew it, I started learning how to compose full pieces and rap as well. I've only performed in competitions a few times, and have only won a gold medal once, in my third year but I quit participating in competitions for ice skating, and took to rapping in the underground instead. I still enjoy ice skating though, and when I get overwhelmed or angry I come to this rink, because ice skating was always calming and relaxing to me, and I never really had the heart to leave the hobby behind. Hence the skating rink" he finished, and by then they were all out of the rink and getting into the car to go home.
"But Sejin hyung?" Tae asked, "How did he know?
"Sejin hyung knew about this when he found one of my medals and asked about it." Namjoon said, and Sejin nodded from the wheel.
They were home now, and they all filed into the living room. After the night they've had, they're gonna need all the sleep they can get for the chaotic days ahead of them. Luckily, Sejin's talk with Bang-PD Nim on overworking the members and the past events of the night was more than enough to change the schedule so that they aren't overworked, no matter how long it will take to finish.
The BTS members were elated.
-end
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Sincerely,
Nidhi Gandhi
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