Is This Normal?
Creativity is such a cliche word. I’ve heard that phrase describe things countless times. I knew what it meant when I was five; that’s just how overused it is. To imagine. Be different. Authentic. Create something of your own. It sounds so nice. You can get so far with inspiration. Lately, I’ve been wondering, am I really creative? I mean, whenever I was asked to describe myself, I’d say “stubborn” or “quiet” or “creative,” simple but easy answers to a question. Now, I’m having a little crisis about my existence. It’s okay, though, I think it’s normal, but I also feel like I’m painfully overthinking this. I can go outside and poetically write about Mother Nature or doom scroll on social media until something inside my messy writing block clicks. I can look at aesthetic pictures and quotes and study everything about them until I can create words of my own to share, but are they actually mine? Is the creativity that I use to express myself really me? Honestly, if I wanted to fake my skills, I could just ask ChatGPT and get it over with, but even then, my pride would falter seeing how a robot could do better work than I ever could. Am I a liar? Am I an impostor, just using the talent of others, whether it be through books or movies or pictures, or comments, to feed the lack of creativity and vocabulary I run out of from time to time? Some may argue that I’m being inspired, but sometimes I feel like I’m just taking from others to fill my bowl, that I won’t have the ability to make something of myself for myself, because I have never been doing it in the first place. Maybe I should study philosophy and then become a nun or something so I can be dedicated to something other than my thoughts.
No comments:
Post a Comment