SBPL readers, it’s your own advice columnist- Miss Telall, presenting two more entries. Having an issue or just want to talk? She’s always up to offer advice, so be sure to email her at MissTelallSBPL@gmail.com, and check the SPBL blog for a reply addressing your problem. All entries are always ANONYMOUS, and no problem is too big or too embarrassing for Miss Telall to tackle!
Dear Miss Telall,
Look, I wash my face okay? I put on acne cream, I drink a ton of water- I do every little thing people tell you to do for your acne and- surprise! It hasn’t worked. I hate that people still find it funny to talk about me behind my back about it, as if it’s something I can even control! It’s like me making fun of someone for needing contacts- it’s beyond their and my control! How do I get people to stop talkingtalkingtalking?
I Love Pizza, But NOT On My Face
Dear NOT a Pizza,
Darling, acne is the eternal teenage struggle, so let me give you the shpiel that helped me: so what? Millions of people worldwide have acne, and there are billion-dollar industries to cure it precisely because it’s TOUGH. Having difficulties with it just proves that you are a normal teen whose hormones are acting annoying (like all teens). There is no one miracle cure, only many small things you can do to help combat it! When other people make fun of acne, they don’t understand what harm they can cause, and the unfairness of their lack of sympathy. Chin up, and don’t consider their immaturity a reflection of your value- having pimples doesn’t equate to being less of a person.
If it gets physical, or if it really starts to grate on your nerves contact a peer immediately- it sounds cheesy because everyone tells you that, but it’s the single most effective thing to do! You can also just let these people know what the consequences of their actions are, if you feel safe doing so- honestly, when confronted by their victims, sometimes these people's’ guilt can lead them to the right response- an apology. However, if you don’t feel bothered by it after reading the above on self-love, then my best advice to you is to let them talk! When you have enough self-assurance to know that what you don’t let affect you loses all its power, you can let yourself free of all that social worrying. Things like acne don’t matter in the grand scheme of your life, and other people's gossip is irrelevant- don’t let it hold you back, because pettiness shouldn’t be a barrier to your goals and self-confidence.
If your acne simply bothers YOU (because it can hurt on the skin), then look into products within your means, and consider natural changes like lifestyle updates (more exercise and healthy eating), but NEVER- and I repeat never- do something extreme or feel bad just because someone else decided to be disrespectful and uncaring.
Dear Miss Telall,
I’m not the person who I want to be anymore. All I’m doing is just enough to get by with school and I hate it. I love to sing and dance, but I don’t do either anymore. I don’t have any close friends, or at least friends that I feel comfortable enough to confide in and asking my family for help isn’t an option either. There are so many things I want to change about myself that I don’t know where to begin. I feel like my life is definitely headed nowhere and I get more and more frustrated as each day comes and goes. I have no motivation, no drive, and my passion for the things I used to love so much has disappeared. I’m not sure what to do anymore. Have any meaningful advice?
Swimming in Murky Waters
Dear Swimming in Murky Waters,
Within your email to us, you listed many issues that are preventing you from living the life that you’d like to have. Instead on focusing on everything at once, try to focus on the aspects you’d like to change, one thing at a time. Start small. How about asking your parents to drive you to a dance studio and work to improve your skills? If they disagree, how about taking just one hour from your busy schedule to sing and dance at home? Once you’ve spent some time bringing your favorite activity back into your life, focus on the other things you’d like to change. Once again, think small. In my opinion, your next step should be finding someone who you can open up to about your life. Even though you mentioned that you don’t see your family as an outlet to open up to, it is important to remember that your parents are always trying their best to understand you. If you try to get your point across in a different way, there is a strong chance that they will listen. If not, you can always consider going to your school’s guidance counselor or ask your parents to take you to a therapist. Most importantly, thank you for confiding in us! It’s important to open up to someone in the process of changing your life, and I’m sure you will be successful in this endeavour.