Wanting Attention vs Wanting Connection
Today I went out for bubble tea with a friend. I took so many pictures while we were there—random ones, little details, even pictures of nothing special. It was one of those small, normal hangouts, but I still wanted to capture everything.
Later, when I got back to my room, I was scrolling through them on my phone and thinking about whether I should post a story on Instagram. It felt like it would be fun to post it. Maybe people would see it and ask me about it, or start a conversation. I guess I liked the idea that it could turn into something to talk about.
So I posted it. But after that, I kept checking my phone every 10 minutes. I don’t even know why. I wasn’t expecting anything big, just… something. A like, a reply, a message. Anything that shows someone saw it. I realized I get kind of excited when someone texts me before I text them. It feels different—like I matter in that moment, like I didn’t have to chase the conversation.
Sometimes I don’t even have anything specific to say. I just don’t like the feeling of being “out of the loop” or not being part of someone’s day. Posting stories feels like an easy way to create that connection, even if it’s not a real conversation. And the weird part is, I can’t tell if I actually want attention… or if I just don’t want to feel invisible for a second. Or maybe it’s both.
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