Melatonin
I count on the bits of my fingers
When I can’t sleep
Because my body may lie
But my mind is elsewhere
I wonder about countless before me
Who did the same thing
Those who pace themselves
And count the days away…
Until they become months
Until you just spend so much time in your head
Until time becomes meaningless itself
Then you wait
Staring at the ceiling
The white void of noise is consuming
And the cushions aren’t so soft anymore
But you can feel a steady heartbeat in the palm of your hand
In a place where you didn’t expect
Because it gives you remembrance
Just of how still you are
How aware are you of life?
At least you can curl your fingers around the rhythm
It’s alive and counting with you, the beat of your blood instead of time
A lulling sleep which takes you
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