In seventh grade, I was
lucky enough to stumble upon the fantastic novel, “Dear Bully: Seventy Authors
Tell Their Stories”. Evidently, it recalls the experiences seventy authors have
had with bullying. Reading their stories, I was inspired to share my own
experience with bullying. This story takes place way back when I was in
elementary school.
(*All names have been
changed)
Dear Lily*,
I’ll never forget you.
I’ve met a lot of people. The close friends, chatterboxes, super-doers- but
I’ve never met anyone like you. You’ve left a bruise in my heart, and even
today, the bruise stays. You showed me how subtle bullying can be. You
victimized me in a way I didn’t even think about. I guess it has to do with the
day we met.
Except, I can’t even say
why.
I had just moved to a
new school that year. I opened the door to my classroom and felt a wave of
nervousness come over me. I peered in and saw you. I remember it like it was
yesterday. Big brown eyes. Silky, straight black hair flowing below your
shoulders and a pleasant smile on your face. Glossy lips, no flaws, and that
North Face Jacket. No wonder I wanted to be your friend.
We did become friends
after a few weeks. At first, you confided in me. You’d tell me some not-so-nice
things about my other friends and force me to shun them. So slowly, bit-by-bit,
you started gaining my trust. Once you thought you had it all, you started
growing. You grew in our friendship- you took the charge, you took control. On
the other hand, I started shrinking. I lost myself inside our dangerous
friendship. I listened to you. I followed you. I did whatever you wanted. I
trusted you.
That’s when you pulled
out your malevolent weapon. You made rules. Well, no they weren’t rules really,
I’d hastily reassure myself. You just didn’t like it, that’s all. You didn’t
like it if I didn’t do whatever you asked. You would persuade me to do all of
your favorite things. I mean, if I picked, how good would things be? You’d
always have the better option. If you wanted to spend time with me, how great
was that? So what if I did all of your homework? Who cares if we hung out with
your friends? You’d already assured me all of my friends were losers.
After a month-or-so, you
revealed your true colors. You turned into a living nightmare. Being your
follower, I saw you in your disguise as a nice, kind person. By then, you had
started lashing out at me. You started to ridicule me. But then, you’d
apologize and blame yourself- swear you were just having a mood swing and say
why, why, why were you so mean, so inconsiderate- until I would feel sorry for
you and assure you that no, you weren’t a bad person. You weren’t mean or
inconsiderate- it was all my fault. I’m the one who should have been saying
sorry. Then, you’d cry and hug me and say, “You’re the best friend I’ve ever
had.” You’d promise me you would never be mean to be again. For a few days, you
would spend time with me, be all fun and games until you went back to being
mean again.
The last thing I
remember about being your friend is you screaming at me for asking if you
wanted to play during recess. I walked away from you, my heart shattered and
tears falling down my face. That’s when I realized how fatal our friendship had
been. It had eaten away at my conscience until I couldn’t even think straight.
From then on, I vowed: no more bad friends. You’ve had enough, Sanjana. Don’t
blind yourself just to appear stronger. See the red flags and get out. Pronto.
At first, I thought
being without you meant being lonely and an outcast. But as I shut the door on
greedy, manipulative friends, I found real friends. The true-blue ones that
hang with you until the very end.
There’s still something
I want to say to you Lily*.
Thank you.
Thank you for teaching
me to not always trust first impressions. From your friendly disguises, I’ve
learned it takes more than a first look to become someone’s real friend. You’ve
shown me it’s what’s inside that truly counts.
Thank you for making me
think before I start a friendship. To look down the road for red flags and
danger signs. You’ve made me pay close attention to the smallest details. No
longer will I blindly trust a person. No longer will I blindly let a friend
hurt me with their stinging words. No longer will I hide in the darkness.
Thank you for showing me
how to deal with anxiety. Every time I do something important, I remember your
mocking face. If I’m scared to do something, I’ll remember you Lily.
You’ve left a scar in me
which I will always remember. You’ve showed me how subtle bullying can be.
You’ve victimized me in a way I still can’t imagine. You’ve left a bruise in my
heart. I’ll never be the same.
No longer your victim,
Sanjana
No comments:
Post a Comment