Miss Telall 4/22/16

Attention SBPL readers, it’s your own advice columnist- Miss Telall with two more entries. Having an issue or just want to talk? She’s always up to offer advice, so be sure to email her at MissTelallSBPL@gmail.com, and check the SPBL blog for a reply addressing your problem. All entries are always ANONYMOUS, and no problem is too big or too embarrassing for Miss Telall to tackle!

Dear Miss Telall,       So, I like this guy. Wait wait, please read this! I know it sounds like just another cliche middle school crush but I'm really serious. This guy is my best friend, and he has been for almost a year, since I met him as a sevvie. We hang out a lot, and always get teased about being a couple by my girlfriends and his friends, but we always laugh it off like a joke. The thing is, I wish it wasn't a joke- I've never met anyone as hilarious and laid-back and fun (not to mention cute)! I've been dropping hints that I like him more than a friend for months, to no avail. Sometimes he seems like he flirts back, but I don't know for sure. Should I let him know how I feel, or is that too big a social risk to take?                  Sincerely,             Take the Plunge?

Dear Take the Plunge,       Darling, why would I ever ignore a call for help in romance? That’s my specialty! And this, is a common, classic, and heart wrenching situation for so many. There are three factors that often come into play in these scenarios- your friendship with the person you like (let’s call him S, just for reference’s sake), how you feel about him, and how you feel about what others will think.      Thus, the main conflict for you is deciding which is the most important- I won’t lie: there’s always the chance that confessing your feelings will make your friendship a little awkward for a while, but realize that if you two truly have that good a relationship, S will be understanding towards you. The key is to make sure you are clear that you value your relationship above all else, and don’t want to lose it- if he can’t handle it (his loss!). However, ultimately, it’s up to you to choose between whether you care more about expressing your feelings, and seeing where that leads, maintaining your current relationship, even if it causes you pain, or keeping your peers out of the loop. Often, people don’t want to voice their true feelings because they’re afraid of being judged. Often, people don’t want to lose a friend. In the end, you must decide- what is more important to you right now (what do you feel comfortable with): that your peers are kept out of your business, that you take the chance on a potential romanic partner, or that you keep your present relationship unchanged?                              Sincerely,                             Miss Telall

Dear Miss Telall,       I’m looking to develop myself as an individual, if you know what I mean. Everybody else seems so talented, creative and smart, but I feel like I’m really doing nothing! My parents and friends believe I’m doing well- but there’s nothing that makes me stand out as an individual! I guess what I’m trying to say is that I can’t express my inner creativity and talents well enough alone. I have plenty of time (well I will, considering that the summer is coming), but I’m looking for a way to feel better about myself. There hasn’t been one moment this year where I have felt confident and artistic.                                     Sincerely,                                 Blue Art Blues

Dear Blue Art Blues,       What you are trying to say is a very valid point. Today’s society, especially American society, does not make people feel good about themselves. Instead of focusing on your strengths, you are forced to ponder upon your weaknesses. All everyone notices are the flaws! But not to fear, Miss Telall is here! If you’re really looking to develop yourself as an individual, try considering activities which you have an interest in. You mentioned that you do have quite a bit of time on your hands (at least this upcoming summer), so a good thing to try would be art or cooking classes. Art classes will help you to channel your inner creativity, and reduce stress levels. Another way to develop your personality and strengths would be to create a weekly exercise routine. You could even try yoga classes. Exercise is a feel-good activity for people of all ages, and this has been proven numerous times by scientific research. Find out ways for you to get out of your comfort zone. For instance, if you’re barely bilingual and want to learn about new cultures- try language classes! Language classes are an excellent way to improve your knowledge of culture, as well as meet new people who you can connect with. Here at SBPL, we offer numerous, and I mean NUMEROUS activities which will change your perception and help you in finding out who you truly are. Getting involved at the public library is a wonderful way to develop yourself and discover your interests!                                Sincerely,                               Miss Telall