Miss Telall column 3/23/16

SBPL readers, it’s your own advice columnist- Miss Telall, presenting two more entries. Having an issue or just want to talk? She’s always up to offer advice, so be sure to email her at MissTelallSBPL@gmail.com, and check the SPBL blog for a reply addressing your problem. All entries are always ANONYMOUS, and no problem is too big or too embarrassing for Miss Telall to tackle!

Dear Miss Telall,        Hi Miss Telall. I’ve been wearing makeup since middle school (maybe 8th grade?) because I used to have really bad acne. Now, my skin is clear, but I still like to wear makeup because I like to apply it- it’s soothing to me. I spend a lot of time trying out new looks, and I’ve even considered starting a beauty YouTube channel. Unfortunately, this means that whenever I come to school, I always hear people whispering about how I’m wearing “too much makeup” or I’m a “cake face”. Why can’t these people leave me alone? I really don’t want to stop wearing makeup, but sometimes now I feel bad when I do, because other people are looking at me like (and I quote), “an ugly face under pounds of foundation”.                                    Sincerely,                       Made Up Too Much?

Dear Made Up Too Much?       One of the hardest lessons anyone ever has to learn in life is how to be confident without caring about what the other people around them are thinking. If you love makeup- flaunt it! it’s your hobby and your  face- what right does anyone else have to say mean things and act as if their opinion should be more important than your happiness? Their opinions aren’t what should dictate your actions- if you always let rude and hurtful people affect your self image, you will lose sight of your identity. You are a makeup fanatic (and I have to admit, I am one too!), and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Everyone has a different opinion about how much makeup is “acceptable” or “enough”, so don’t let other people’s opinion change yours.      Makeup and beauty seems to be a serious passion of yours, so pursue it! If you want to start a beauty channel of your own, go ahead! Mean comments are NOT serious and valid constructive criticisms: there’s a big difference between making a well-wishing comment politely to be helpful and saying something blatantly malicious. That being said, if this situation continues to make you feel uncomfortable, the smartest thing to do is to go to someone like a friend, parent, or teacher who can help put an end to that bullying! Sometimes, it takes firm action to end situations like this, and that action can be taken anonymously!      Just always remember- you are absolutely beautiful with or without makeup, and no one has any right to make you feel otherwise!                                     Sincerely,                                    Miss Telall

Dear Miss Telall,         Lately, everything has taken a big hit on my self-esteem. I’m confused about a few things. When I look in the mirror or at photos, I think I look unattractive and ugly. Well I am ugly, but so many people have randomly said how fabulous I look when obviously I’m not. I go to counseling, which I’ve been doing for a few years but I haven’t really gotten much out of it. I’m at this stage in my life where I would love to have a boyfriend, but I know I’ll never have one, and it’s just hard going out with my friends, who are all beautiful, gorgeous and talented, and most importantly, always getting attention from boys. I try so many different things to make myself look more approachable and attractive; for example, buying expensive makeup, designer clothes, etc. and nothing seems to be working. I’m just really depressed because I hate myself so much and I don’t know what to do. I really need your help. I’m confused out of my mind.                                   Sincerely,                        Begging to be Kissed

Dear Begging to be Kissed,         It sounds like your biggest problem is not your appearance but the way you view yourself. If you admit that sometimes you look “nice”, you need to address the plaguing issue of your plummeting self-image rather than spending money on expensive makeup and clothes. Since you’re already seeing a counselor, describe to her what you said to me. If you feel that your counselor does not seem to understand what you’re going through and is not helping, it might be time to find someone who specializes in “body dysmorphic disorder”, which is related to perceived physical flaws. While you’re getting that help, you might consider doing volunteer work that encourages you to focus on helping others rather than constantly scrutinizing your appearance. In addition to the good feeling you’ll get from helping others, you’ll also give yourself an opportunity to meet new people, hopefully ones that are not obsessed with their boyfriends or boys in general.                                     Sincerely,                                    Miss Telall